OK, let's face it: this sucker
Butt-ugly. Godzilla as a giant-monster character has
a certain charm, but this has to be about the most scabacious, herpes-ridden,
disturbing portrayal of the big guy ever attempted. What the hell
was Mattel thinking?
a Japanese version of this toy as well
(called a "Jumbosaurus" instead of a "Jumbo Machinder"), but as
you might expect, it's handled pretty well. The proportions are
decent, it's got a lizard-like head and big spikes running down
the back, and best of all it roars, thanks to a built-in pull-string
abortion, on the other hand, has been variously compared to a "scabies-ridden
cat with leprosy," "a hideously deformed circus-sideshow stillborn,"
and "a filthy pus-stained abomination with a serious case of advanced
melanoma." Actually, I just made all of those up, but I bet if you
polled enough people that's the response you'd eventually get. Did
I mention that this is one UGLY mother?
it ain't ALL bad. Although Mattel "revised" the design by removing
the voicebox and back-spikes and totally screwing up the head, they
did add ONE redeeming feature: a totally lewd fire-tattooed tongue
that suggestively slides in and out at the flip of a lever. Yum!
And hey, at least they kept the "rocket punch" -- thus managing
to singlehandedly deep-six everything great about the Japanese version
of the toy while preserving the one retarded feature that they should
have been editing out. Alcoholism? Drug problem? Pact with Satan?
I dunno, but I wish these guys could have been given a crack at
reworking Mattel's Barbie lineup...
here to see the profile of the Popy